Loveless Act 23

Raindrops slowly fall to the ground
The rays of the sun slowly fades.
The sound of laughter slowly goes
The feeling of hopelessness slowy sets.





Have not been posting for awhile.Many things have happend.I would be lying if I said there were no good things that happened.
I have quite a lot of stuff on my mind. I think to myself,why must others be more fortunate than I am?Others always or almost nearly get what they want everytime.
I know I sound very dark now,but if you have so many things weighting down on your mind,even you would be depressed.
I should stop here now.I really don't feel like going on.I hate it.I just hate it.

Loveless Act 22

The endless snow blankets the frozen wasteland
The rays of the sun shining down
The warmth and security of a once frozen wasteland
Lost Planet: Extreme Conditions






I feel......somehow happy,yet when I see the ex-co or when I think of them,I feel sick and angry.All I wish for is 1 day where everything is happiness.
This is hard to bear.I have no where to go.
I don't fit in anywhere.
I wish I did,but I don't.
Wishing for a calm day where a gentle wind is blowing,the sound of peace and the ray of the sun shining down on me.
Is it impossible to get this?

Loveless Act 20

The face behind every mask
Bears a different personality
The illusion that appears
The truth that kills

The Hero hides behind his mask
Hoping to deceive to please
The battle is never  outside of him
But always inside his heart




Been a while since I posted anything.I have decided to become John.Lim Rui How is only a mask.Like I said before,I am never a single person.People might think I am mad.Maybe I am.The only way to know my true self is to know myself.Though the world is full of laughter and joy,I find it hard to share the same sentiments as them.I really am too different am I?Trying to blend in,but not with my real self.How many masks do I have?

Sadness?Joy?Anger?Darkness?Light?How many exactly?Others are themselves and they do not have to worry about 'dressing up' to hide.
I remember this quote : "The first wish was made,for an end to a bitter and corrupt world and for a purer one to take its place." Any idea what is means? Am I the disease that is corrupting everything?

I wish to be able to find myself,but in order  to do that,I need help.Who is willing to help me?I know I am a lone wolf,but there are somethings that not even I can do alone.I bear the consequence of everything despite me not being the one who started it. Who exactly am I?I am starting to have doubts about myself.Will I ever have the will to start what I must do and to finish what I have started?

Loveless Act 19

The sound of thunder
The sight of chaos
The stench of death

The warmth of light
The purity of hearts
The assurance of peace

The end of life
The end of time
The end of everything



I don't think I ever told anyone about this.I don't know whether I want to tell you people or not.I think I should.
Ever wondered why I moved to Tiong Bahru?

The reason is very simple.But let me digress for a while.Think about it.Has your family been so affected financially that your parents are always fighting?Has your family have to do anything just to make ends meet?Has anyone of you have your parents shout at you until you cry?Have any of you need to give up something to move forward in life?


My dad lost his job.We were moved to Tiong Bahru where the government 'helps' us.I don't think anyone of you knows how it feels like.Being far away from your friends.Having to live behind an illusion.Some of you will say I am lying.Everyone says I am lying.Who trusts me?You people don't even care.Wonder why I stay out as often as I can?Ever wondered why I am always sad in school?I don't think so.All of you lead lives that are better than mine.You don't have to fight to survive.Others were born lucky.What about me?My family only has until October before we have to leave this bloody place.After that?I might have to live on the streets.Maybe I might even have move to Malaysia.By then I would have left school.Bet most of you will be happy right?No more of the jerk who brings everyone down.Luqman will be jumping with joy.No more of the asshole to insult him.Hafiz will be busy insulting me.Jeremy will not have to worry about me bothering him.In fact,I thought about whether I ought to be HERE in the first place.


Remember this?


Forgotten Past
Painful Present
Missing Future

Loveless Act 18

The Hero returns to fight for his people
The people cheer and cry as they see the dreaded shadows retreat to the Dark
The Hero fights to save all who he love
Every drop of his blood spilt is a blessing to those who believe in the Light





Hi,I know I have been a jerk.An asshole really.I have never opened up to anyone till now.Maybe this will let you understand me.I don't know who here is a friend or a foe but I will start everything again.

My name is Rui How.My pals call me John.I was born on the seventh of June 1995.Currently staying in Tiong Bahru.I am a pessimistic/optimistic person but which ever side surfaces more,you should know.I have friends,but I don't talk about them.

Many of you think that I am an emotional teen,but  I am not.It is just that I like to keep to myself.If all of you noticed,I talk a lot when messaging instead of face-to-face talks.Some people(Hafiz,BX,Al)know me quite well I can say,and I am glad you do.
Let me create a scenario.For a person who knows me,if I am quiet,he/she will know that I am deep in thought or sad/angry.You will know that I stand up for my friends and I will do anything for them(my old friends should know that).For those who do not know me,I am a selfish,violent guy who has no feelings for anyone.I cannot blame you people for that as I am the one who did not open up.Recently,I just attended a camp(YTSAs should know that)and my group thought I was very quiet but I can talk(BX and friends AND Dini)a lot.The point is,you cannot judge a book by its cover.I am a cheerful guy,just that I don't show it.You might see me always alone,but that does not mean I am abandoned but just...I have no idea of what to say...I think I have mentioned this to some people,so I will say it again.I feel left-out whenever I see my friends hanging out together.To you people,you will think it is because I am a loner.But the truth is,I don't match with your style.Taking Jeremy for example,he knows a lot about music and he can play the piano.But me?I only know military stuff and I cannot even play a single musical instrument.You people always have something in common such as favourite stars or teams,but I don't.I don't even know what teams there are in the World Cup.I only recognise a few celebrities.I just don't match.You can say that I am weird.Like what most people would think is that boys like football and stuff but I don't.People are afraid of snakes and the like while I adore them.Is it weird?They like something,I don't like it.It is like all of you were made to be together.

I think some of you will be thinking that I am writing this to get sympathy.It is up to you to decide why.Just one thing for thought.I am sure everyone here has messages sent to them by friends on their birthdays.Anyone noticed my birthday did not appear on Facebook?I think not.I will stop here.For now.I might have more things to add.But for now,This is what I will reveal.Goodnight.

Loveless Act 17

The tears that were shed
The Light that was extinguished

The Darkness that filles this heart of mine
Corrupts the purity in in me.





I am NOT studying for my exams and I am slacking behind.
I don't feel like studying yet I want to ace my papers.

Loveless Act 16

As darkness falls and the land withers
The light shines through to guide the pure
The hearts of men once corrupted
Can be cleansed with light and forgiveness

The lands slowly dying.
The darkness comsuming all
Yet hope remains for the angels calls
Have been heard by the purest hearts
To lead the fight against the dark.






Tomorrow is my English paper and I have not even started revising.Just what is changing.I am hoping to  get what I want.Now I wait.