Loss of confidence
Lack of motivation
End of trust
Beginning of hardship
Don't really have the motivation to study right now... I just hate it.
Tired and not motivated. What a potent mix......
Monday, September 12, 2011
Wednesday, July 6, 2011
Loveless Act 32
The sight of a broken heart
The reality of life
The sound of gentle waves
The sound of tears.
Well,it's been awhile now. Now much to say.
What I really want to talk about is her.
I just talked to Claudia and...well,she is not wrong about anything,but I just hate it.
Love is a powerful thing.
It can heal
Yet,
I can kill.
Not saying I want to kill myself,but I am just sad.
For the first time.
I am truely lost.
Would things have been different in the past?
Sigh...
Victoria,if you are reading this,I hope that you will push aside whatever I may have done.
I only realise now that you are giving me a signal
You don't want me to bother you.
It's hard but...I don't know whether I can do it.
The reality of life
The sound of gentle waves
The sound of tears.
Well,it's been awhile now. Now much to say.
What I really want to talk about is her.
I just talked to Claudia and...well,she is not wrong about anything,but I just hate it.
Love is a powerful thing.
It can heal
Yet,
I can kill.
Not saying I want to kill myself,but I am just sad.
For the first time.
I am truely lost.
Would things have been different in the past?
Sigh...
Victoria,if you are reading this,I hope that you will push aside whatever I may have done.
I only realise now that you are giving me a signal
You don't want me to bother you.
It's hard but...I don't know whether I can do it.
Monday, March 7, 2011
Loveless Act 31-Not a special chapter,but a special day.
Well,today is her birthday.I can only wish her Happy Birthday and nothing else....well,not entirely nothing else.
I got her a strap. No idea what to call it except for a strap.
Hm...I still feel shy about giving things to her personally.
Maybe I should?Or should I know?
Sigh...I am VERY sure I won't be the only one giving presents to her, but how to give it to her without feeling shy???
LOL...she should have netball training tomorrow so I THINK I can place it into her bag...but I think its better to give it to her personally.
Hmm...things don't get any better than this eh?
I got her a strap. No idea what to call it except for a strap.
Hm...I still feel shy about giving things to her personally.
Maybe I should?Or should I know?
Sigh...I am VERY sure I won't be the only one giving presents to her, but how to give it to her without feeling shy???
LOL...she should have netball training tomorrow so I THINK I can place it into her bag...but I think its better to give it to her personally.
Hmm...things don't get any better than this eh?
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
Loveless Act 29
The sight of a breaking dawn
The sound of the singing birds
The beginning of the beginning
The ending of the beginning
Tonight would be the last night that I am writing from Tiong Bahru.
I will be moving to Bishan tomorrow.
I don't think there is anything good about it.
The only thing that I take comfort in is that...I am closer...
I don't feel like writing much now.
I am tired.
Just a few more days before 14 Feb.
I hope I know what I am doing.
What I am writing might be wrong,but I am glad that some people actually want to talk to me.
I guess this is the last post from Tiong Bahru.
I also have something else to say.
Numbers are easily manipulated
And yes,I like _____
The sound of the singing birds
The beginning of the beginning
The ending of the beginning
Tonight would be the last night that I am writing from Tiong Bahru.
I will be moving to Bishan tomorrow.
I don't think there is anything good about it.
The only thing that I take comfort in is that...I am closer...
I don't feel like writing much now.
I am tired.
Just a few more days before 14 Feb.
I hope I know what I am doing.
What I am writing might be wrong,but I am glad that some people actually want to talk to me.
I guess this is the last post from Tiong Bahru.
I also have something else to say.
Numbers are easily manipulated
And yes,I like _____
Sunday, January 9, 2011
Loveless Act 28
The tears that fall from the face of the sad
Lands on the bodies of the dead
The end to war
But the beginning of sadness and hurt
What must one do to put everything right
What must be sacrificed to achieve peace
Thus the warrior ponders
And thus begins reclamation
I just want to tell everyone here that I do not like Victoria.
I am a fool and a liar.
I only ask that everyone who reads this would stop spreading rumours.
I will say it again.
I DO NOT LIKE VICTORIA
Please stop all the rumours
Insult me if you must,but stop all the nonsense about me liking her.
It was never true.
Just stop everything.
Lands on the bodies of the dead
The end to war
But the beginning of sadness and hurt
What must one do to put everything right
What must be sacrificed to achieve peace
Thus the warrior ponders
And thus begins reclamation
I just want to tell everyone here that I do not like Victoria.
I am a fool and a liar.
I only ask that everyone who reads this would stop spreading rumours.
I will say it again.
I DO NOT LIKE VICTORIA
Please stop all the rumours
Insult me if you must,but stop all the nonsense about me liking her.
It was never true.
Just stop everything.
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
Loveless Act 27
The sound of laughter resonating through the halls
The flickering of candle flames dancing on the walls
The start of new beginnings
The start of a new generation
My first post in 2011.I am not really looking forward to the new year.
I know I can count on others but...I don't think it will be a good year.
Maybe I am just being paranoid.
I only wish for 2 things. To get at least 5 A1s and 1 B4 and to help <>
I know I have been an asshole for these past years and I am sorry for that.
I can understand that all of you are not used to someone like me when you all have people like Marcus and Kenny.
But then again,everyone is different right?
Since it is O's this year,I am torn between a lot of stuff.
I think I better voice out.
I actually had thoughts of ********* *******...my close friends would know what I mean.
Strange that I am actually quite sane right?
I hope those who read this would keep it to themselves.
I don't like people to publicise about me,I have had enough of it.
People like Kenny and Marcus,I don't blame them for teasing me and telling others about my life...the most recent which many of you still like to talk about,but I am not the only one who suffers from it. At least I think so.
I know you people might think I am exaggerating but......some people do kill themsleves when others tease them to the point that they can't take it.
It takes years to build up a reputation and only seconds to bring it down.
Again,I am being an asshole...I know...
Like today's programme. I am boring and monotonous.
I always have second thoughts about myself...
When I see people like Marcus and a few other people,I get envious.Why?
Because they know how to have fun.They know how to interact.
Me?I only know how to command people and demand respect.This is what I think of myself.
Sometimes,I really wonder why...just why...
Well,one thing I can say is that I know there are people like Al,BX,Bran,Fiz and Jeremy and a few others who I know I can count on and people who I think accept me the way I am.
Again,nothing is certain. As for another matter which is interacting with others...
During my primary school days,I have not been very popular...the only people who stuck are Bran,Bx and Al.They would always be by my side.
Want to know why the others do not accept me.Well,the reason is simple.Name calling was an enjoyable past-time in primary school and most people would call me pervert. Think out of any reasons you might want to but what affected me last time does affect me now.
Try having people taunt you everyday in school and getting left out in almost everything that others do. It is simply unbearable.
Trying to make friends but getting rejected by the others is torture...I think most of my primary school CLASSMATES will know what I mean.
Let me recount this really popular story in my primary school.
There was this guy in my class who would like to insult and tease others. My ex-classmates who are reading this might remember what I mean.
We were in the computer lab after the exams and he asked me how to send a message to the whole class and whole school,so I told him how it was done.
You can guess what was written in the message
The one written to the whole p6 level was: Rui How say he slept with Vanessa
The one written to the whole school was: Rui How is a pervert
You people will most definitely not believe me,but that is the truth.
I don't anyone of you have experienced that before.
In just that few minutes,I was way below low.
Girls started avoiding in school and guys would spread rumours about me.
You have to go through it to be able to understand.
Which leads to my next sentence.
I don't think anyone of you have experienced it before.
None of you have any idea how it is like to be treated like scum.No,way below scum.
Even the teachers lost trust in me.
I know what some of you would say and that is I am lying and I just want to get attention.
Well,think what you want,but the truth is the truth. If people continue judging me because of what I am now without find out about my past,I don't think it is worth ******.
The final lap is here and what I hope is that you people will understand what I have been through and not judge me by my appearance.
Forgotten Past
Painful Present
Missing Future
The flickering of candle flames dancing on the walls
The start of new beginnings
The start of a new generation
My first post in 2011.I am not really looking forward to the new year.
I know I can count on others but...I don't think it will be a good year.
Maybe I am just being paranoid.
I only wish for 2 things. To get at least 5 A1s and 1 B4 and to help <>
I know I have been an asshole for these past years and I am sorry for that.
I can understand that all of you are not used to someone like me when you all have people like Marcus and Kenny.
But then again,everyone is different right?
Since it is O's this year,I am torn between a lot of stuff.
I think I better voice out.
I actually had thoughts of ********* *******...my close friends would know what I mean.
Strange that I am actually quite sane right?
I hope those who read this would keep it to themselves.
I don't like people to publicise about me,I have had enough of it.
People like Kenny and Marcus,I don't blame them for teasing me and telling others about my life...the most recent which many of you still like to talk about,but I am not the only one who suffers from it. At least I think so.
I know you people might think I am exaggerating but......some people do kill themsleves when others tease them to the point that they can't take it.
It takes years to build up a reputation and only seconds to bring it down.
Again,I am being an asshole...I know...
Like today's programme. I am boring and monotonous.
I always have second thoughts about myself...
When I see people like Marcus and a few other people,I get envious.Why?
Because they know how to have fun.They know how to interact.
Me?I only know how to command people and demand respect.This is what I think of myself.
Sometimes,I really wonder why...just why...
Well,one thing I can say is that I know there are people like Al,BX,Bran,Fiz and Jeremy and a few others who I know I can count on and people who I think accept me the way I am.
Again,nothing is certain. As for another matter which is interacting with others...
During my primary school days,I have not been very popular...the only people who stuck are Bran,Bx and Al.They would always be by my side.
Want to know why the others do not accept me.Well,the reason is simple.Name calling was an enjoyable past-time in primary school and most people would call me pervert. Think out of any reasons you might want to but what affected me last time does affect me now.
Try having people taunt you everyday in school and getting left out in almost everything that others do. It is simply unbearable.
Trying to make friends but getting rejected by the others is torture...I think most of my primary school CLASSMATES will know what I mean.
Let me recount this really popular story in my primary school.
There was this guy in my class who would like to insult and tease others. My ex-classmates who are reading this might remember what I mean.
We were in the computer lab after the exams and he asked me how to send a message to the whole class and whole school,so I told him how it was done.
You can guess what was written in the message
The one written to the whole p6 level was: Rui How say he slept with Vanessa
The one written to the whole school was: Rui How is a pervert
You people will most definitely not believe me,but that is the truth.
I don't anyone of you have experienced that before.
In just that few minutes,I was way below low.
Girls started avoiding in school and guys would spread rumours about me.
You have to go through it to be able to understand.
Which leads to my next sentence.
I don't think anyone of you have experienced it before.
None of you have any idea how it is like to be treated like scum.No,way below scum.
Even the teachers lost trust in me.
I know what some of you would say and that is I am lying and I just want to get attention.
Well,think what you want,but the truth is the truth. If people continue judging me because of what I am now without find out about my past,I don't think it is worth ******.
The final lap is here and what I hope is that you people will understand what I have been through and not judge me by my appearance.
Forgotten Past
Painful Present
Missing Future
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